sarc.

My dad told me when I was 14 years old that I should stick to what I was good at. And I have. I'm good at writing what I think. Saying what I feel. Loving with all my heart. Trusting those who don't deserve it. And realizing my strengths are more often than not the source of someone else's weakness. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living- a source of ridiculousness I'll be.

Parental guilt is the worst kind. It’s the kind that arouses something inside you and makes you want to fight. It’s the kind that causes you to speak out against things your teenage self would never have even considered.  It’s the kind that leaves you questioning if you are the right person to be raising such a child. It’s a feeling of desperation when you cannot do for them what needs done. It’s the sensation of wanting to take a solder iron to anyone who tells you your kid isn’t normal and can’t do what other kids her age can do. It’s watching your favorite movie and not being able to remember the quotes you’ve recited hundreds of times. It’s not fair. I want to fix my baby. I want to make her like everyone else. I don’t want her to be taken advantage of because she doesn’t get it. I don’t want her to be years behind her peers because of something that I might be responsible for. Raising a kid is hard enough. Raising a kid who doesn’t fit a societal norm is something I hope I’m capable of. Today was a bad day. But she’s a good egg. 

Parental guilt is the worst kind.

It’s the kind that arouses something inside you and makes you want to fight.

It’s the kind that causes you to speak out against things your teenage self would never have even considered. 

It’s the kind that leaves you questioning if you are the right person to be raising such a child.

It’s a feeling of desperation when you cannot do for them what needs done.

It’s the sensation of wanting to take a solder iron to anyone who tells you your kid isn’t normal and can’t do what other kids her age can do.

It’s watching your favorite movie and not being able to remember the quotes you’ve recited hundreds of times.

It’s not fair.

I want to fix my baby.

I want to make her like everyone else.

I don’t want her to be taken advantage of because she doesn’t get it.

I don’t want her to be years behind her peers because of something that I might be responsible for.

Raising a kid is hard enough.

Raising a kid who doesn’t fit a societal norm is something I hope I’m capable of.

Today was a bad day.

But she’s a good egg. 

1 year ago

  1. mayberedbird said: My little guy was diagnosed with Autism last year. No matter what anyone says to me I still feel like I broke my baby. I think I’ll tell why in my truthful Tuesday, but I get the parental guilt thing
  2. winkchin reblogged this from ruthakers and added:
    best daughter in...engaged, playing with her, reading

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